Escape

This weekend, I decide to go for a nature walk away from the busyness of life. It's been almost a week since I've stopped working and I felt strange when this certain responsibilities of my ex-comp seems to make me feel somewhat empty. December is coming soon so I need to prepare myself for the transition.

Figure 1: A small water flow.

I switched off my phone and bringing only essentials and a fully charged digital SLR along, I marched towards the rain forest. It's been so long since I've inhaled fresh air, the sound of insects, rustling of the leaves seems so different than what I normally hear day to day.

I hiked through the woods, it is damp and the air is humid, stretching my legs and sweating it out seems a luxury for my body. It has been ages since I have felt so physically challenged and I simply love the feeling of it. Warm sweat runs wets my whole body.

Figure 2: Moss covered rock stream.

Time seems to freeze itself in the forest, since I am alone, it seems as if the leaves of the trees has eyes, constantly looking at me. The air is so refreshing and I can't help but inhale and exhale it as if it has been my first time ever breathing. 

I have been so busy with work that I forgot everything about the beauty of mother nature surrounding me. Its a blessing from the heavens which money can never buy. I wish to escape from this world, I do, but life doesn't permits that and I won't give up till my last breath..

Can't handle

When I just can't take it anymore, I'll just fall down and pray, answered or not, it helps me hold myself together. Most of the time, without any reason, I felt like breaking down, pressure increasing going to squeeze the guts out of me. I felt so demoralized and unmotivated to do even the simplest of tasks. I feel so weary and without a doubt, I'm so weak.

Figure 1: Wishing to be free.

I always felt uncomfortable sometimes, goosebumps on my skin, suddenly feeling insecure and unsafe, my environment an inferiority to me. Still I just keep it within me, in silence I quench this abnormality in my soul. I cannot focus and conversations seems to blur me out to mimes, lips moving yet mouthing words unheard.

I fear, I can't conquer, I can't master, I can't handle..