Sunday, April 29, 2012

End of the Apri

April have been very good and a little bit naughty to me. I caught numerous viruses and suffered symptoms which even confuses doctors. I am so glad to be able to make it safe and sound. April taught me to be more cautious and think further before proceeding to any sort of engagement.

April gave me hope when I was alone and without anyone else, it gave me the passageway to return to my own roots and seek their support. I am not alone anymore in those big decisions which messed up my mind for a bit. This month has been so good to me.

I am so blessed on this month of April, the beauty of nature and to strive for its preservation has become a part of me. At least it adds one more person to the equation to the protection of mother nature. Life is indeed precious and we can't close our eyes when it is in danger.

A simple quote from one of the greatest people on earth,

"Nothing in this world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."

                                                                               -Martin Luther King, Jr-

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Forgive & forgetfulness

I've recently been approach by a fellow colleague who has been ignoring every initiative and attention I've given to provide the right hints to the successful completion of his project. Due to his late submission for his part of the project, other team members who have already completed their share are also affected.

This leads to a week-long late project submission to an important client which resulted in a very bad impression to my team and me as the project head. I am not angry nor disappointed due to this but my other team-members are enraged. As my personality goes, I'll just keep silent and see how it goes.

Today, the project is already finalized and due to better solutions our team has provided, we headed out to the township to celebrate. Since I don't drink, I've had a great dinner and even got forced into singing. The fellow ignorant colleague was also tagging along.

It seems that he wasn't aware that people around him were heated up but because of the project success things cool down. I though he forgot totally about it until I think he drank a little bit too much and suddenly went up to the stage to grab the microphone, sang a sad song and begged for forgiveness.

Well, that's quite a show, I am astounded as well but still can't say anything much. I'm a forgiving person and I will feel bad if I'm not forgiven. In my heart, even as he ignored me through-out the course of the project due to being more experienced and a fraction older, I forgive him.

Even so, despite my forgetfulness, I can't seem to forget what he did even after I've forgiven him. I guess it's just me. Despite how much it irritates, offend or hurt you forgiveness is a must. It must be quick and immediate as one will never know when one leaves this living world.
Figure 1: Courtesy of Google.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012


Time never waits for me or anyone, it passes so fast that, people age without realizing it, moments which seems to last fade away without enough appreciation and in a blink of an eye things changes. Time is uncontrollable despite how people strive to race it to the finish line, time will always be ahead of you.

I've been so busy planning for my project schedules that time doesn't allow me to enjoy my life the way I used to want it to be. I dislike it but these are the consequences of life, where there are times when I have to give what I have to give and take what I can take.

Despite time being so horridly cruel to me, my project schedule is on time and there are a few more matters to be settled regarding a few flaws here and there. I am lucky to be working in a group and there are matters also assigned to my other colleagues.

If you haven't done something which you wish to do during this certain time-frame, I suggest that you do it despite any limitation, may it be monetary, right time, or right location, I believe that at a certain compromise, just do it regardless as the chance may not come again.

Some people say, time does cruel things to people, effecting their emotions and beauty in such a way, but is it really time's fault? That is the question to be answered. So, if any golden opportunities arises, be sure to grab it, even if not perfectly but at least never regretting not doing anything at all.

The sands of time is flowing in the time-glass this very moment.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Going green

I've posted one picture of these shoes in my previous post but the picture wasn't so good as it was taken by my mobile. So here are better pictures of the Nike SB Dunk High Premium. It was a 2008 release but I was lucky enough to still be able to get it online. 

I chose these pair of soles as my first pair of Nike SB Dunk due to it's unique green colorway matched up with crocodile texture. There's a big contrast between red and green, so the royal red swoosh, laces, soles and in-sole really caught my eyes.

The material type used on these shoes are suede leather mixed with patented croco style leather. The inside of the shoes is made of comfortable smooth padded polyester. Its soles is made of red colored grip rubber soles.
Figure 1: B&W version.
Figure 2: Stony Green.
Figure 3: Mossy Green.

Figure 4: Green Highlight.
Figure 5: Royal Red & Green Texture.

 The photos I've taken are in  random places, some of the places are not so clean with green mosses. Will be going to a few places the end of next month in search of more collectibles. Hopefully there will be something which will complement my collectibles. 

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Mother Earth

Mother Earth, thank you for giving me a place to live in this earth of Yours. Thank you for the fresh air which You have provided from your peaceful and loving nature. Thank you for the fresh water which you have brought out through water springs and rivers. Thank you for the atmosphere in which to protect us from the harsh sun.
Figure 1: Nature.
The beautiful sunrise at dawn, birds early in the morning seeking refuge in Your alms and without having anything, You took care of them and without me realizing, You took care of me. The rain when it gets scorching hot, I keep complaining when it rains, and again failed to see the bigger picture of Your plans.

Mother Nature, thank You for providing mankind the power to gather necessities to live in your beautiful Earth. Please forgive us for getting greedy and taking more than required. Forgive us for not taking care of the environment due to our selfishness. Forgive us for only thinking of ourselves.

Dear Creator, thank You for creating us according to Your image. Thank You for giving us wisdom and authority above all the creatures of Earth. Thank you for Your continuous care and blessing to us. Forgive us when we misuse our wisdom and try to change the Earth not according to Your will.

Forgive us for wanting more and never satisfied rather than appreciate what we have. Forgive us for all the wrong things which are happening in this world due to sin. Your anger is seen in earthquakes and disasters which occurs often lately. Your words of judgement are in the thunders.

Mother Earth, 
I have a lot to thank You. I wish my mind is born to praise You. My mind constantly revolves on small matters around me that I failed to see the bigger picture which You are showing to me everyday.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Down with flu

Days has been a change of weather from hot sunny days to sudden torrential rain. This resulted in sudden hot temperature to cold vice versa. This type of weather isn't kind to me as I am fragile to sudden temperature changes.

The effects are immediate and without mercy. I just recently got well from a sudden fury of hiccups to get my nose tricking with water like a leaked tap. My nose is now running, such an annoying symptom to highlight the ever changing weather.

Besides the constant trickling, I sneezed countless times and this makes others around me uncomfortable. My mind also seems very fuzzy during work. Sometimes I just felt so fuzzy that I blanked out while talking to my colleague. 

This month hasn't been treating me well either, it has challenged my patience and giving me a fix. I can't complain though as flu has been a part of me since I'm small. I still remember sneezing a nose full of mucus onto a girl's pinafore and she hated me for life during primary.

When I have flu, my eyes turn red, my nose gets so itchy, people even start to pity me as if I have fallen into a deep calamity and cried my eyes to death. Living patiently with this sensitive weather change symptom is accepting myself the way I am physically. 

Still, I am so sorry to be such a burden when I am down with flu.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Worthless words

Words can be expressed in a lot of ways, it can be either spoken or written by hand. Words are meant to be passed on to someone or a group of people who can benefit and understand from them. Words can be meaningful, hurtful, and at the same time beautiful. Words often contains information and knowledge but it depends solely on the listener or reader to decipher it carefully.

I love reading and listening to words which can give me different type of feelings regarding a certain situation which I couldn't experience myself. It makes me able to feel at-least something different than I normally feel. There are beautiful words which are spoken out randomly while I was out, and I seem to feel that certain moment even though it is a bit awkward.

Still I trust words from a lot of people who doesn't seem to mean them and to me, those words are very painful and it hurts my heart. Words which are meant to last and when time passes don't are often spoken when the moment seems to be at its peak of happiness. During these situations I always agree, but most of the time I will be disappointed as I will be the only one still holding those words.

When meaningful words arise, when it doesn't seem to mean much anymore, I've learned to ignore them and those painful effects of worthless words I just throw them away. Worthless words are like well-scribbled paper just fit to be thrown in the trash can. Those experiences made me stronger and no longer vain to feelings. 

Colder, stronger and more immune to words. I lost respect those who said words while holding on to it rather than just letting those words out like a wind and turncoat on the next move. Holding to your words can be painful depending on your situation. To hold on to words which comes out of your lips is something noble these days.

What are words when there's just spoken out without holding on to it? Worthless words...

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Moment of hiccups

Yesterday, I've took my first sick leave since I started working for the company. It is not due to me being so sick that I can't even come over for work but it is because I've got an unstoppable hiccup all of a sudden. I'm also not sure where did I manage to get this kind of silly phenomena to myself.

It all started that evening after gym, I went over to a Tom Yam restaurant for something nice warm and spicy for dinner. I had that really spiced up tom yam and ate it with rice. I didn't feel anything awkward until I started to hiccup on the way back home. I breathe in and try to stay my breathe for as long as I can to rid of it.

To my dismay, it didn't stop and I kept hiccuping until I reach home. I even tried to swallow up air, drink lots of water but to no avail. Those hiccups just kept coming and I can't find a way to stop myself from hiccuping. I was so frustrated and a bit mad-driven by hiccups.

The hiccup didn't stop even when I wanted to go to bed. I went to sleep hiccuping and the next day, woke up hiccuping. I was so angry that I gurgled two 1 liter bottles of water but that didn't resulted well. As a consequence I was so full that every-time I hiccuped water+stomach acid flooded my mouth. I am so disgusting and disgusted.

I went to work hiccuping, attended the morning meeting hiccuping and people around me just felt uncomfortable just hearing me wheeze and shake due to the hiccup. I just can't stand it and rush as fast as I can  to hide in my office. Still colleagues and more people came to see me, hiccuping myself away for answers and signatures.

My diaphragm muscle started to hurt so badly that the next day I took my sick leave and went to the doctor.

Doctor: Hello, what's wrong with you today?
Me      : Doctor, I can't stop hiccuping and my tummy hurts.
Doctor: Hiccuping is due to the nerve endings of your diaphragm sending signals to your diaphragm... bla bla bla. Just take a deep breathe or swallow.
Me      : I did that already Doctor but it didn't work.
Doctor : I'll just give you this medicine.. for your gastric.. bla bla bla..
Me      : *So you don't know how to fix it.* Zzz..  <-- in my mind.

I got my sick leave from the doctor so I can get some rest and away from the office from curious people eyeing me, just in case I have some chronic virus which can infect them. Some even gave me silly advice that I've gotta go to some hardcore specialist at Australia just to be sure. Damn!!!

So today, I fasted and didn't eat any heavy food but substituted to fruits and water only. I felt better, the hiccups come and go, eventually goes away. It's all about my diet I realized, no one knows me better than me, I shouldn't have ate such spicy yet delicious tom yam serving with an empty stomach.

That is seriously my bad. Suffered too much from hiccuping the last 3 days of my life.

*I wrote doctor in red because I felt like smacking him.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Work work work

Will be working like a horse this whole week to catch up with all those incoming projects. 

Responding all those mails need to be replied. 

Reading up the whole report for the last few days of absence, seems like there is a lot of issues still need to be resolved. 

Authorities coming up for an audit tomorrow on critical equipment.

There's more maintenance for the auxiliary support equipment needed to be done before commissioning of the newly serviced boiler.

Hoping to fully service and supply the energy needs of the surrounding area without any breakdown and hassle.

Research and development proposal yet to be completed.

With so much load coming in, and little drive inside of me, will I be able to handle it? Without further ado, I should work it out as efficiently dividing the resources that I have and do my best.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Back from the Pearl

Been sometime away from work and home due to business deal regarding my work equipment. The deal is to be made at the Pearl of the South China Sea, I guess I'm going to enjoy these few days of free time so I bring my sister to tag along.

Since I'm with my sister, there will not be anyone of the opposite sex disturbing me and she'll learn how is it like to be in a real meeting with potential vendor and also how to deal with them. This is also a bit of an introductory travel course to her about engineering work.

After the meeting is done, we decide to go to the beach which we used to play since we're small, and reminiscing the old times we still manage to find some seashells to add to my sister's shell collection. This island's beach is very special as it is full of crustacean shells which consists of different shapes, sizes and unique designs.

These are the few pictures of the sea shells taken using the Nikon D90 with kit lenses. The camera is great and easy for me to use but not so good if it is handed to a point and shoot usual user. So I'll hand over my Sony NEX-5 to my sister and hold on to the Nikon.
Figure 1: Her shell collections.
Figure 2: Her shell collections.
Figure 3: More of her shell collections.
Just like me, besides being left-handed and have similar interest, we love to collect. She loves things which are colourful, rare and also abstract art. Memories are also collectibles which are  treasured for life. So being able to spend time together will be rarer as she is going off to study at a renowned university soon.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Disastrous 2012??

Figure 1: Dim 2012.
Yesterday evening, at about 7pm, a friend of mine residing at an island just Westernmost of my country just called, requesting a prayer for the safety of his family and the people at the island. His voice was uneasy but remained calm as he relayed me the message.

The fear of disaster and death is the most terrifying feeling one would get when facing it. The uncertainty and effects that death brings is truly painful, draining love ones souls of happiness. People always think, is this life worth living if there is only death waiting at the door.

After praying for everyone, I called up every relative and people I know contactable just to know their conditions at their respective areas. Slept well at 1am in the morning after knowing everything is alright back there. Death is inevitable, my legs shake just thinking of it. 

The earthquake originates at a neighboring country, just 400km South of it, so far in the news there are no occurrences of a tsunami, this is a fast report of what is happening there.

Here are pictures of people, terrified, panicky, running away, hugging loved ones at the sight of disaster and the unscented presence of death. What is happening to this world, with lot of fake soothsayers and false prophets predicting the end of the world, it is clearly stated in the Book of Life that the end of ages is already near.

Heed the warning or not, life goes on, but knowing that this world won't last, it is best to invest in assets which is unseen. Life in the heavenly realm will be a life without tears, death and anymore painful suffering that this world offers. I'll gladly leave everything enticing in this world just to have a taste of heaven.

If 2012 is my last, I hope I'll weight up enough to be in the promised heavenly kingdom.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Another life

In this life full of different paths, we have to decide what is the best outcome for ourselves and also what's best for others. Recently a good friend of mine has come to a very tough cross-road decision and this certain decision effects her future and also her own relationship with another person.

She asked me for advice and after listening to her and some reasoning, instead of giving her an absolute advice, I asked her a few questions to ponder before making that big decision. The questions I gave her are in a way are linked to both her main decisions.

In my list of trivial questions, I don't require an answer but need her to think thoroughly as in it is consists of her own fundamental principle of life, which is important and other small details which will have an impact of her future. As a good friend and listener, I can only offer such assistance.

I am glad that, she went with her passion and heart, for this is what will truly make someone happy despite criticism and negative views of her other friends. I believe that one should never be judge despite her decisions as the one person that is going through it is her.

All the best in life watashi no yoki yujin.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Lethargic allergy

Figure 1: Smile.
Achoo~!!! Achoo~!!! All the way as I traveled back to my work place from home. There is a certain room at home in which if I enter, will get super itchy in the nose, my eyes will start to water and like a leaked water tap, my nose will bleed water. 

My eyes and nose will turn red due to that itch and my mind will get slow. Thinking will be a hassle for me when I am in this lethargic state due to allergy. I am so hyper-sensitive when it comes to the cleanliness of the place I am living in, working in and spend time at. 

I simply can't stand going to closed up places only to find it so dusty or filled with pollen which activates my hyper-sensitive nose. My room is equipped with efficient aeration, allergen free air-conditioning and humidity balancing device just to keep my room suitable for me to live in.

Someone used to give me a bouquet of live flowers, I didn't know about my allergies at first but as I left the flowers at home it began to wither and the pollen probably got separated from the flowers itself. I didn't know the root cause of my sudden allergy until I blow the air out of my room and threw the flowers away.

Despite being such a clean freak myself, I suffer a lot from my allergies ever since I am small, running nose just like a leaking tap water, reduced performance, almost constant sneezing which pisses off surrounding people and facial features which scares the public (red nose, red eyes = H1N1??).

I totally avoid meeting up with people especially clients, bosses or dates with friends when I am having this allergy situation. Since, I am born this way I can't change the way I am, just that there are probably others like me suffering this lethargic allergy situation, and I hope to share this to those who never knew about this.

There are ways to actually improve the situation due sudden exposure to allergens which will bring disaster, but I wouldn't resort to surgery or heavy medical means. This is a genetic weakness in my part, I am willing to work around it and with that said, I can still smile and be happy.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Give thanks

After sometime away from work and nuisance, I manage to get myself together and settle things the way I felt most comfortable. I am sure there is something in the way I treat people that always gets me into this kind of shitty trouble. 

And through it all, I can't find anywhere to fully vent away this troubling thought and stress until finally I went to the backyard, dug a medium sized hole?? and spill it all. As troubling as it seems, "nope", that is absolutely not what I did. I just knelt down and prayed instead.

It was calming when I finally released everything that is troubling me to my Creator. Sometimes I wonder is it only me, or it is true that Almighty actually listens and personally sends a calming spirit into my soul. Without prior knowledge of the higher power, I would be so messed up.

It's strange that these days, I only come to sit on the feet of the Creator during my times of trouble. Once I've passed that stage of sadness, that closeness seem to fade. Still, I can't comprehend my life without the Almighty's touch. 

Thank you God for loving me first.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Random Thursday

Original music by the Korean singer Taeyang which I don't understand. My cousin keeps on raving about this Korean singer and his music. And while surfing the net, found an English cover sang by Kevin Lien which is great, enjoyed the catchy beat with lyrics which makes sense.

Remember to always express your feelings, thoughts once that chance is gone there's a 99.9% possibility that it wouldn't happen anymore. This doesn't only applies to relationship but also other chances which concerns the heart. This song express the person's regret for just waiting and not taking action.

"My heart was never yours in the first place, why bother me now and asking for the impossible from my elders, my heart can never accept you."

Sometimes we often dismiss these matters as unimportant to be released from inside. It may cause discomfort to self and the other party. However keeping it will result in hurt that will last longer than a lifetime. Such a simple act can cause such distress.

"My heart is uneasy, not ready but the odds are against me, it is not through my own will, but no matter what, my heart will never submit to other's will, this was never my wish in the first place."

I don't have much way to vent out this unneeded stress. I don't drink anymore, I don't smoke nor do I do crack so I'll just blog it out.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Numb inside

Figure 1: Sunset silhouette. 
The breeze is warm and the sky is cloudy, unable to watch the sunset but enjoyed the calming beating of the waves against the stones. Walked together but not so close.

The silhouette shown in Figure 1, shows two person who seems close but not too close. There is distance between them, but not too far yet they spend time together, chatting while the sun slowly dies down the horizon. 

For now this is the sort of relationship and no more, There are reasons for this and do not need to be understood clearly why. Whenever asked, will just kept silent and wisp away further.

Felt cold, deep inside and there will always be a never-ending winter inside my heart.

"She's now a resident engineer back at homeland, wonder how she's doing, She has her friends and have mine own, the distance is numbing and thawing my heart further"

Monday, April 2, 2012

Helpless & Hopeless

Just a few points to ponder as I look back and think forward into the future..

A) Ever felt helpless and also hopeless at the same time? 
B) Ever walked a path in life where you felt the loneliest despite having people all around you? 
C) Ever given a task to handle alone where you don't have enough know-how and experience to fully execute it? 

Well, enough with the ever, I'm sure each and every one of us have this sort of facing the impossible experience. The agonizing feeling of being helpless and hopelessness is a tough combo when one is facing it together at the same time. It brings more effects to one's sanity as well as brings stress which will age those physical looks.

From my experience, I am constantly dropped in a situation when there are people around me yet I find them unwilling to help me out or even just point me in the right direction. This sucks especially if you're new and still inexperienced. 

However, this is not an excuse to actually slack off and run away from the problem. This is where you as a sane person face that huge mountain of a problem and start digging. Even if you're unsure where is the actual location of the gold, there's a lot of place you can start to analyze and even try to smell the dirt to find that sweet gold.

Never ever be disappointed when we find help from other people, only to be rejected, refused, mocked, spat at or even in worst case scenarios, screamed at. If this happens to you, spring up and remember the words of the genius Einstein,

"I am thankful to all those who said "No", because of them I did it myself."

Once you've get around this thick fog of negativity and actually work out that initiative to find that alternative to your problem it is time to be proud. This is due to that fact that when you walked alone, tasted the bitterness of dirt and run up that huge mountain of impossibility, through all those hardships only to finally find that shiny, yellow gold.

Why am I writing this? I've experienced this before and from this experience one should never be too proud and haughty as to become as the other people that surround you and made you virtually invisible. Be humble and always help those who are experiencing this painful experience.

"God always give me the bitter sweet taste of humility whenever I am haughty."

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Monday Blues

Work once again, after just a few days of freedom and peacefulness of the mind. Since it is Monday, and I'm feeling so blue I'll just blog about something blue from my collectibles.

Recently, I manage to try out a new pair of kicks which I opened up from the box and immediately tested out hiking. Fresh out of the box the sneakers is made up of blue dyed suede leather and meshes for breath-ability. 
Figure 1: Back-side.
This is a pair of Adidas x James Bond ZX8000 for David Beckham. David Beckham is cool but the only thing I dig in for these sneakers is that it is designed by James Bond of Undefeated and it is a ZX8000 model. That makes a shoe worth going in to my collection.
Figure 2: Front-side.
These shoes also features 3M accents on the toe-box, side 3 stripes and the hind part of the shoes. The 3M material used will illuminate itself when exposed to light, so when running or walking on the side of the road, it makes you more noticeable when its already dark. 
Figure 3: Out-soles.
These shoes as in all ZX8000 features a torsion bar which stabilizes the runner while evenly distributing the load torque generated by the runner to the out-soles providing ample control. The out-sole of the shoe is excellent for running on the asphalt road  as well as hiking and jungle trekking on stony-muddy hilly trails.
Figure 4: Insides.
The insides of the sole features a very comfortable inner lining and padding specially designed by James Bond. This is standard in all of his Adidas collaborations. It is made of leather and the feel is luxurious to the foot.

I normally don't do justice to my collectibles but just for the sake of testing the capabilities of the Adidas ZX8000 with torsion technology on the trail, this is about how far I go. So this pair of shoes is worthy as an athletic as well as casual wear.

Hopefully more collectibles to come in the future.