Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Burning out of July

Figure 2: The sun setting down in the horizon.
Farewell soon July two thousand and thirteen, this will be my last post for you.

Things come and go, nothing is permanent in this world. I kept reminding myself that phrase again and again. I am still disappointed knowing the truth about it. Even people who are the nice, when shaken and given stress, they turned sour and bitter. 

It is sad, when you tried your best to make a change, yet fail to make even a small splash in the pool. The pool I imagined was calm yet filled with angry stressful waves, which has been the culture of the place, dampened any small and subtle effort to change.

Why is it so hard to change for the better? Why is it so easy to just maintain that way or just keep quiet even though you're different. I have no idea or I am out of idea. The feeling finally caught up to me, exhaustion, weariness, hopelessness and sense of negativity.

It seems like almost every effort is fake, almost every push is squeezed up from top to bottom. What is wrong with everyone? It seems like passing a cup filled with hot boiling oil around a table filled with frightened men. My mind is so limited.

I am feeling so weak and hopeless. Should I just change and follow the flow? Or should I remain strong and keep my principles. I have no idea what is coming ahead of me, but a lot of things which has so much potential to go wrong is deemed to be ahead of me.

God Almighty, help me, as I have drifted so far away from you..

Figure 2: Sun sets into the hazy horizon.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Just a note, take note..

Figure 1: Flower for the broken hear-ted.
In any type of relationship, it is always best to hold on to your principles and hold firm onto what you truly believe in. No matter  what that is the ultimate most important point in yourself. Once you give in to your feelings, bad things will start to happen.

A relationship will never ever go wrong due to distance, it will only start to rapture if you give in to your doubts and start to imagine things. This imagination part is very volatile as it mixes feelings which will then turn those imaginations into wilder visualizations.

If you ever wish you want to be in a relationship you don't want to be in, then its best you don't have a relationship at all. Whatever words that you used to say won't mean a thing once, it is clear that, you've given up your principles and let your emotions control your decisions.

So for those looking forward to be in a relationship, it is best that you yourself make sure that you're able to handle that relationship because it is not only about holding hands, having fun or looking perfect together, but also being able to be together when the storm comes.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

My favorite pastime

Everyone has something to do during their free time, it can be reading the newspaper or a novel. Or it can be going through a recipe book and getting ready to prepare a delicious dish for tonight. Or just a simple relaxing snooze on the rocking chair. There must be something for everyone.

Figure 1: Clouds passing by.

For me, I love looking at photo books, especially on landscapes and potraits. From these photos, I can learn and visualize on how to do composition and certain special settings for my own applications. I also enjoy looking at pictures from other blogs and other source of professional images.

Figure 2: Golden glory.
I enjoy creating an image with something special in it. An image with soul and hidden beauty. I even tried hard as to learn how to use new techniques such as using filters. My images before that are quite bland, and this new filter using technique improves it a lot. There' ,much more to learn.

Figure 3: As the fisherman paddled by.
Still using low quality filters though as expensive ones are really expensive and for now I have to make do with what I have. My tripod is sturdy enough but very soon I need to find a new replacement as its legs are getting quite problematic. Will procure these stuff once financially steady.

Figure 4: Smeared skies vs land.
My favorite pastime is photography. I wished I learned it a little earlier in life but better now than never right. Whatever your pastime is the most important thing is to do it with passion, never give up and always be ready to take the challenge. Cheers.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013


What is your definition of a reward? Is it something great or grand? Is it an opportunity or a chance of a lifetime? Rewards comes in many forms and can be classified as small as the word thank you or as huge as a year's bonus. 

Figure 1: To be together with your love ones.
Before we expect a reward, it is of out-most importance that we realize that we must play our roles and if possible outperform in order to be eligible for such rewards. Rewards won't come for free, and there is a need to exert effort in order to reap the benefits.

A reward can be also said as a sign of recognition for your contributions. Whenever you do something and people notice it, then that is where the magic happens. A reward may come right in front of your doorstep and surprise you.

Figure 2: A beautiful reward isn't always material gold.
What is most important is the spirit, effort and energy that you dedicate yourself to whatever that you work hard for. This is the principle that I have hold on for years. To do my best and let God do the rest. Even if there is no huge reward, God always blesses me with a beautiful sunset.

Monday, July 22, 2013


Figure 1: Monday blurs.
Monday was always a very stressful and busy day for me, as most of the plans left behind on a Friday was dumped up together on a Monday. Due to a very relaxing weekend, I almost always dreaded Monday and hoped that it will never come.

Monday isn't the first day of the week, Sunday is, but I don't know why I love Sundays so much and dislike Mondays. Maybe it is the environment, or amount of work, or the number of people giving you tasks, or the expectations during that day itself.

On Mondays, I have a lot of meetings going on, in which each of those meetings have their own agendas. I really have to keep tabs on those meetings and try my best not to space out in case a challenge is spit out on the field. Really have to be prepared mentally on that.

However, if it was holidays, public or annual leaves, I'll be so glad and thankful for that. I'll wake up next Tuesday morning filled with joy and start my job eagerly. I'll be able to easily focus and prepare myself for a great day at work. Oh, just wishful thinking.

Sorry Monday.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Music in her

She used to be a very shy girl and there's a lot of about her remains a secret even to me. One the beautiful hidden talents that I see in her is her love for music. She enjoys music and love to sing. I was astonished that she gathered courage to sing in front and her voice is lovely.

Figure 1: A potrait of her.

Her love of music is not only restricted to singing, but also to musical instruments. She is learning the keyboard and also the ukulele. She can play a few songs already while singing with those instruments. If she has learned it since small, I think she'll be a master of these instruments already.

Figure 2: Playing the piano.

Love you, you're a really special person.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Missing my homeland again..

Figure 1: Sunset at the Salut.
It is barely two months since I got back from Kaamatan holidays that I started to miss my homeland. I missed my village and the environment there. I enjoyed going out just for a walk up the hills and exercise while waiting for the sun to rise or set on each side of the hills. 

Figure 2: X marks the spot.
There are a lot of places which I have yet to explore and capture, but due to work commitment it doesn't permits me to just simply hop out of this island and go back home. It requires proper planning and it is up to my boss to release me or not. That simply sucks.

Figure 3: Captured at ODEC beach, UMS.

I really crave going back home, especially to meet my family members and have fun with them. It is so difficult to be alone and have no one at home despite the ability to do what you want. It starts to get so lonesome here. Maybe it's time to get married. Am I ready, that is another question.

Figure 4: Dramatic sunset at ODEC beach.

Friday, July 19, 2013

My God and I

Figure 1: A stream to the sea.

I believe God goes beyond all that, all religions teach good things, none of it bad.. I believe that even people who aren't educated or reached out by religion is touched by God.. It is just a matter of rejecting the fact that you're created or not. 

Or believe that you are your own god and that when you die that is the end of it all, these days money can even be god. My mind is so limited and I am brought up with a lot of questions unanswered, but I have faith in God and that I wasn't just created to die or waste my life. 

Be it short or be it long, I hope for a full life.. It may not be perfect but at least through the character of Jesus, I can do my best and live knowing His light, hope and love for me..
I have a few atheist friends, but even when life's troubles come, they pray.. to whom, I think God..

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Tears fall down

There are times, when situations aren't so great and every single thing you do on that particular day, doesn't piece up together at all. At the peak of the day, everything is falling apart and you got blamed for it. You've been trying your best to keep it all together, but it doesn't work out at all.

Figure 1: Calm yet troubled inside.
Your face looks so gloomy and sad, and at times, you feel so alone that life seems to ditch you out of its trend. You fight, forcing your way out of the oddities and awkwardness. Fighting it all away with a smile on your face, covering the fact that inside you're really hurt.

These times are hard times, it hurts every-time I think about it, as I've experienced it a few times in life and witness with my own eyes, men and women who are strong in the front lines, but when it cools down at the end of the day, they break down with tears in their eyes.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Quick fix

A lot things goes broken every second in this world, watches stop suddenly, cars breakdown in the middle of the road, laptops gets overheated and many more things can happen. It doesn't just simply occur without any reasons, there lots of reasons.

Figure 1: My jammed tripod and unsteady head.
First is neglect and no care after use. This happens to my tripod which I just owned early this year. It wasn't an expensive tripod, but it was steady enough for usage, and by usage, I use it very extremely. It wen't from sea water, rivers and many walks of life.

But due to the fact that I never take time to clean my tripod nor service it with oil, it is just a matter of a few months, the tripod jammed on me, leg release snapped off, shaky base plate and rust. That is just a small list of problem, the worst of all the tripod is unsteady.

Figure 2: A steady tripod is essential for landscapers.
I love landscape photography and especially enjoy long exposures. However, my tripod is an Achilles heel for me. Getting another one is pricey, as I plan to get a really good quality one from Manfrotto and for now, budget is still tight.

Figure 3: Vibration and unstable tripods are a bane to long exposure.
For now I have serviced my tripod, tighten the shaky parts, though some of the legs aren't releasable anymore, that have to make do till I get a new one. Lesson learned. Always practice preventive maintenance whenever you are.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Early in the morning

I woke up early in the morning this weekend and have a feeling to go out and explore the views of the island beach. It was cool early in the morning and the breeze was soft and at times a little bit warm. I headed out to the eastern part of the beach for the sunset.
Figure 1: Fisherman up and early to the sea.
The distant horizon isn't that clear enough that I could peek far into the Land below the Wind, the shores are pretty clear. It is so peaceful early in the morning and there isn't much activities going on as most people are still asleep at home as the weather is quite comfortable.

Figure 2: The visibility not so good.
Fishermen woke up early in the morn to do their fishing. It probably applies to them that the earliest bird gets the worm, but in the sea there's tons of fish, so I guess there shouldn't be much problem as the sea is calm and there's going to be some haul for them.

Figure 3: A misty sunrise.
I just love the calmness of the morning, especially since it rained yesterday, and the air smells so fresh and there's morning dew all over the grasses and the leaves. The horizon is quite misty and horizon not so clear but the morning light is the moment not to be missed every single day.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Me & her

I am missing her, even before and while I am typing this log, every time we spent together was enjoyable to the most. I especially love hanging out with her and each time was different, even through the bad or good times, we need each other.
Figure 1: Me & Koyong.
I can't say I complete her, I am imperfect, especially I get annoyed so fast if situations get hasty and at times I get angry and flame out. She's a cool girl and she knows me well enough to let me cool down and helps me vent out this anger by her soft kindness.

Figure 2: Enjoy going out for trips.
She teaches me when I don't know or have no idea at all. She guides me to what she likes at the same time too. I don't like everything she likes, as I am me, and she's her but I take time to tolerate it and she takes her time to tolerate mine. We're unique that way, in a sense.

Figure 3: She spark interest in photography.
What I like about her the most is that despite her feelings, she sticks to her roots and her principles she holds on tight too. That makes me rest assured that one day, when I am weak or have sudden loss of wealth, she won't pack up and leave. 

Figure 4: Beside me she's perfect.
I won't too, beauty changes as we grow older, it is no longer such a precious as it is revered. So if she loss her hair one day, her skin tone changes, she get weak and needs my help, rest assured. She's the one I choose, after all she choose me too. 

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Silent night

Figure 1: The Sea view of Pulau Enoe.
There are times when the nights seems to have no way for dreams. That is when I decide to wake up and find something to shoot. Not so good at night photography yet but am trying to find opportunities and trying to learn to get the best results.
Figure 2: Black and white in the dark.
My camera doesn't do great at higher iso than 400 at night. It would look so grainy that you wish you took your photos in black and white. Even the loss of detail and colour is terrible to the extent that people won't even shoot my camera. 

Figure 3: Clear skies at the tip of Borneo.

If I had a lot of money, I would probably stick the best lens and buy the best full body camera I can get my hands on. Nikon of course. Night photography is so spectacular that you wish that your camera handles hi isos noiselessly.

Figure 4: Cloud explosion at the tip of Borneo.    

What I love about darkness is the long exposures and endless things you can do to make your photos look surreal and light so unreal.

Figure 5: Waiting at the bustop to go home.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

My inspiration

When I am small, I live in a world filled of dreams and easiness. Life is a game and everything comes so easy as I grew up. I get everything I wanted and never needed to stretch out and do any hard work. Everything is fun and joy.

Figure 1: Lost in a sea of dreams.

I come home from school never concerned about my school work and just play computer games. I was never concerned about my parents and am very ignorant about myself. I grew to be very selfish and self centered person. 

Those traits are still with me, I try my best to improve. When I finished high school with a terrible, parent disappointing result, I finally got knocked hard in the head. I asked myself, what the hell am I doing? What am I going to be in the future?

Figure 2: My dad, am so proud of him.

Due to my ignorance and failure to realize, I was secretly shipped to national service for 3 months, I got knocked hard there and finally reality came to my mind. I realize that I was such a douche-bag full of nothing-ness and wastefull-ness.

I started to look back, and see the person who has raised me since small, my mom and dad. My dad lives a very hard life, but now, he's a successful person and able to raise up my whole family. My mom also came from a difficult family, but she's able to teach us and care for my family.
Figure 3: My mom and dad.

That is my turning point and my inspiration. Even now, they still take care of me and give sound advice to their very ignorant and foolish kid.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Life in an un-perfect world

I believe that life is more than a simple dream which revolves over and over again. Life has so much promises that is often clouded by evil things which happens daily in different parts of the world. This world is tainted with sin, but I believe that God is still in control.

Figure 1: Green mosses, one of my favorite subjects.
Despite the bad news and suffering everywhere, I find no reason to panic and lose hope. I believe that even in a perfect peaceful world, there must be strife and hardships which will make life more challenging and filled with ups and downs.

Figure 2: After sunset at Tindakon Dazang beach.
Still I am so fortunate to be living in a country where the effects of these bad news are still minimal and under control. In other places the challenge seems more intense and tough, but people is still doing their best to life despite the oppression. Life is indeed precious.

Life on an island..

Figure 1: The clock tower, one of the landmarks of this island.
Life seems to be better than when I was working my previous job. Back to my old job, I wasn't even able to always mobilize and do things I love to do since work requires me to be there 12hrs and 6 days a week. I am glad I moved jobs and finally able to have a normal 8hr and 5 days job here in this island.

Figure 2: A circle of friends (WAY). 
This island was where I grew up from my childhood till I finished high schools. I left the island in pursuit of further studies and I never thought of returning to this island. I am so fortunate to be able to return to the place where I started. 

Figure 3: A mix of old school and new design.
The weather on this island is very unpredictable, sometimes it will be very hot and in just a little while the clouds may cover the skies. It may rain on one part of the island and another part may be dry. The weather is very queer. 
Figure 4: One of the road signs, Language road.
However sunsets here in this island are very beautiful if the weather permits. I am addicted to capturing those rays of lights. For the occasional sunrise, I would wake up as early as 5am to prepare and head on the East side of the island. For sunsets I'll move to West side at around 5.30pm.
Figure 5: A view of the sea from a boat.
Life is better here in this island and I am quite happy despite being alone in a big house. Love the place,time and freedom as well as the able to do landscape photography. Life isn't so noisy as in the cities, nor do they have much entertainment, but for me, a slightly slow and non-rush life is just perfect.