Me & her

I am missing her, even before and while I am typing this log, every time we spent together was enjoyable to the most. I especially love hanging out with her and each time was different, even through the bad or good times, we need each other.

Figure 1: Me & Koyong.

I can't say I complete her, I am imperfect, especially I get annoyed so fast if situations get hasty and at times I get angry and flame out. She's a cool girl and she knows me well enough to let me cool down and helps me vent out this anger by her soft kindness.

Figure 2: Enjoy going out for trips.

She teaches me when I don't know or have no idea at all. She guides me to what she likes at the same time too. I don't like everything she likes, as I am me, and she's her but I take time to tolerate it and she takes her time to tolerate mine. We're unique that way, in a sense.

Figure 3: She spark interest in photography.

What I like about her the most is that despite her feelings, she sticks to her roots and her principles she holds on tight too. That makes me rest assured that one day, when I am weak or have sudden loss of wealth, she won't pack up and leave. 

Figure 4: Beside me she's perfect.

I won't too, beauty changes as we grow older, it is no longer such a precious as it is revered. So if she loss her hair one day, her skin tone changes, she get weak and needs my help, rest assured. She's the one I choose, after all she choose me too. 

Words of Life..

These photo was taken when I visited the long house of Pasir Nangka, Tatau, Bintulu. This was taken at my foster family's home. It contained words which I would want to keep for as long as I live. For me, a life without God is an empty life not knowing my own Creator. 

Figure 1: Words of Life.

Without God, I would be a lost person, not knowing what to expect in life and not knowing the importance of LIFE. Life without God will be a life without eternal purpose, knowing only that finally I would die and forever be forgotten. I wanted a life that would last forever, without pain or tears. 

People sometimes give me discouraging words regarding my faith to God. "So what if it isn't true in the end?" Then I'll just hold on to my faith and die with something to hope on for. At least it is worth dying for rather than without anything to hope for after leaving this painful Earth.

Deep inside my heart..

I am a Christian at birth and I've been baptized a Christian ever since. Still deep inside my heart, there's a struggle which has been taking place since I was young. I keep struggling with the true meaning of being a Christian. Is it just following my parents and simply being proud of being one as I have a lot of friends in the church. Why me? Why the need of a religion, when it is so imperfect and run by imperfect people. Why can't I just be with God.

Reality comes back at me saying, "you're here in this world, so stay in this sinful world". So reflecting back to what I said earlier, I'm still a Christian, but I improvised by learning the book of the Christians, simply known as the bible. I can't understand or memorize everything, but I'll just do my best to learn.

Figure 1: His blood.

I can't be a Christian if I don't even know what Christianity is, I don't even care about the history which is depicted by humans. Still this book, the bible, is heaven sent and not written by human minds. This is something to behold, at least there is still something that closely associates God with religion.

Still in my heart, I simply associate God with the bible as there is no other way I can learn better than to sit at Jesus's feet himself. I find this next to impossible to do as He isn't with us in this world now. I'm simply stuck with my own kind. Helpless I feel but I know I'm not the only one.

Figure 2: His humbleness.

The blood of Christ and to know His humility even though He's the son of God is the best excuse perhaps why I'm a stuck Christian until now. Some people may not regard me as one, still I'm His believer, until He comes again for me, I'll just continue to research what I can and praise His goodness and everlasting love.