Reminscing 2013: 5 days fury

It has been five days since I last wrote and posted, I have been very busy with work. It has been quite a stressful start of 2014 with sudden workload and emergent works to attend to, but I know that this is a challenging start for me.

Since I missed five days of the 2013 top photos, I decide to post 5 photos with short descriptions on why I have chosen these photos and the impact that it has given me for last year 2013. It has been a great year with fruitful experience.

 

Figure 1: The bride.

Last year, I have the opportunity to capture the wedding of my cousin at a church in my homeland. I was so happy to be able to capture the moment even though I was using such an old camera whilst the official photographers are using the best.

 

Figure 2: My dad and todu.

In figure 2, this shows the photo of my dad with todu, or his aunt, my dad was born and raised in the village area and he was raised as a farmer and almost don't made it to school if it wasn't for his mother. My dad has made a lot of sacrifice for me and my family.

Figure 3: Phoenix.

During this point of time, I was so sad that I wasn't able to capture the sunset due to the horrendous weather, this is what I am also feeling right now as it is rainy and the clouds always blocks the beautiful light. But whenever I see this picture of a rising phoenix, I smiled. 

Figure 4: Strike.

Capturing motion of the waves is one of my favorite subject when the weather is sublime and dull. This is one of the part of the beach in the island where the waves are slightly strong but doesn't crashes too hard on the sands. Motion capture fascinates me.

Figure 5: Droplet reflections.

It rained so much last year that I can't go out and capture much of the landscapes, so while it wasn't drizzling so heavily I used a macro lens and capture this droplet on the leaf, I was lucky to be able to get this shot as I wasn't supported by tripod.

So these are the five captures that I can share due to my busy schedule at work, which I am current at now. All in all I would like to give thanks to God for his abundant blessings in life.

Reminiscing 2013: 1st photo

The first photo I would like to share on the year 2014 is among my most favorite photo for last year. It is my future wife's photo looking out of the window. I took this photo while she was attentively looking out of the window. Her expression as well as pose makes me fall in love.

Figure 1: Looking outside.

This year 2014, I am going to propose and marry her. I look forward to that fateful day. I am still nervous about moving up to the next phase in life, but I know that together with her, she'll complete my lacking and I hope to be the best partner for her.

Again

Figure 1: One day, she will come.

Once again, I want to talk about patience. Is there a significant benefit to be patient and wait on something which is likely or not likely to happen? It all depends on your perspective and attitude. For me, if it is worth it and once in a lifetime opportunity, then why not wait for it.

Patience is a virtue, as stated by a lot of wise men. However, patience doesn't mean just waiting for it to come without self doing anything. Well, if you're waiting patiently for that opportunity but am being idle, that is indeed a waste of time and energy.

You may be waiting for that special someone, or a better opportunity else where, so this is where you can do some research and try experimenting with something new. Who knows what may come, so best be prepared for it rather than be in a state of shock.

With that amount of time spent, you can do your best at your current situation while waiting for that opportunity to come. By the time the opportunity comes, you are ready and in your best state to grab it and surge forward in life. Patience is the essence of success. 

Figure 2: Sometimes it is worth it, sometimes not.

Little kids

Figure 1: Just the perfect light.

Whenever I see my little cousins who are still in their kindergartens and early pre-schoolers, I get a little bit jealous as I still missed the times when I would just run around, jump here and there and playing with other little kids like there's no tomorrow.

Figure 2: Mee for breakfast.

Figure 3: Run, fun and speed.

Everything is fun in the world of kids, I never remembered a single thing that wasn't happy in my memories as I kept forgetting the times when I was disciplined or fall down and cried. All I ever remembered was the endless fun with friends that keeps repetitive and it never bores me.

Figure 4: Mind Mango.

Kids have not much sense of responsibility that the adults do and that really makes me missed being a little kid. Its not that I haven't done enough during my childhood days, its day looking at these little cousins of mine makes me want to join them running around.

Figure 5: Adults vs Kids.

My mom used to say, hush! sit down, but I never listened, nor do the other kids, and we kept running and laughing, causing a ruckus that goes out of control. The fun lasted until one aunty, brought up a cane and gave some discipline to her son.

Figure 6: Priceless laughter.

As an eldest son, I am quite pampered by my parents and anything that I want I get but as little kids, my parents never complained when we get to town as we were never too demanding like the other kids who would scream out loud whenever they see a toy or sweets.

Figure 7: Happy siblings.

Childhood days are the times, when forgiveness is so easy. Where one might fight another and be back as good friends at the next moment. I really cherish my childhood days, so I believe any kids should have the time of their life, as of now I am quite a stressed out adult.

Figure 8: Happiness is where the home is.

May these little kids, learn to know and love God, for without knowledge of the Creator, there will be an emptiness that will grow as these kids learn and experience more through life. Life isn't all fun and games, but it is when were kids.

Faithful

My friend used to say, faith is such a strange thing. If that is so, then it means that to be faithful to someone is strange? That is something to ponder about, having faith makes you believe in something that isn't apparent or seen physically. How does faithful goes into that context?

Figure 1: Shining eyes.

Faithful means that one is steadfast and hold on to that one belief, thing, principle or person. It can come in a lot of form and ways, being faithful means that you will keep your promise and be there until the end no matter what is the outcome.

Figure 2: "She's the one" -Kiokie-.

People have always say that, real men stay faithful, or that loyal and faithful girls cry the most. Still, what strengthens you inside and out or spiritually and physically is faith and strong belief in God. This is where strong men and ladies are born with a strong core.

We do not know what tomorrow may bring, but we have faith that tomorrow will be better and there's always something we can improve. I can't emphasize more about faithfulness to God as if in the context of a loving couple, faithfulness is the key especially when far apart.

Figure 3: Blessed beautiful couple.

Falling once or twice is nothing to be crying about. Nor does winning once or twice in a battle something to brag about but constantly holding on without ado despite the storm and winter coming, that is something legendary.

Love of my life

Just a simple post today, can't write much with all those flu running and my body heat radiating. Not a comfortable feeling but I felt satisfied and happy.

I am so blessed to be able to see her again, it is indeed a fruitful weekend and full of fun and activities, I am still in the process of healing my self from the heatwave and get some rest.

Figure 1: Just you and me.

I would like to give credits to the photographer who took a picture of me with her. Will blog more soon after I have post-processed the images. Need to rest now, for work comes tomorrow.

Pa & Ma

This blog post is dedicated to the most special people in my life. They are the ones who brought me to life in this world and brought me up into the person I am now. I am so blessed by God, blessed to be able to know God and appreciate life the way other people couldn't because papa and mama taught me so.

Figure 1: Papa & Mama.

My parents are the most special people in the world. They are extra-ordinary people, who sacrificed time, energy, patience and passion just to take care of me and my siblings. I admit that I am born with a silver spoon in my mouth and that life starts easy for me.

My parents however, was born in the villages at my homeland and have to toil the soil with their parents (my grandparents) in order to earn a bowl of rice. Their lives were simple and hard. Education was a far cry away but papa's mom was the one who urged papa to further study.

Papa is a smart person, at a young age, he excelled in his studies and due to his mother's (grandma whom I never get to meet) sacrifice, papa was able to further his study. Papa's father (grandpa) was a hard person, who wanted papa to work in the fields, but grandma's vision was further away.

So, when I was born, papa has a vision for me, he never wanted me to feel the same experience that he gone through growing up. So, despite having a hard time teaching me and grooming me for the future, papa never gave up. Mama didn't gave up on me too, even though I was so hard headed.

Mama is also a very smart person, but mama never had the chance to continue studies. So, mama took care of me since I was small. I was so blessed to have mama in my life. Mama, taught me a lot of things, to take care of myself, to be wise and essentials to live.

But the most important thing mama and papa taught me is to never forget about God, the creator of all things. In life, I must never forget the little things and simple stories mama used to tell me when I was a baby, I must never forget the lessons she taught, from sewing to cooking and always be humble in life.

I love you mama and papa. Even though I am already older, I always need your guidance and care. I am sure blessed to be in the family with net, wina and dell. I hope to bring another special person to be your child by next year.

A sunset with You

Figure 1: The sun setting down. 

I love sunsets, those are the best moments of the day. It is when the light is the most spectacular and rich with golden and burning red. I love the warm breeze which softly whisper through the air. I especially love a beach which has a lot of people hanging out.

Figure 2: Sun setting with a small storm cloud approaching.

This is a part of my homeland which I must visit whenever I come back to the capital city. It's beaches are clean and sandy. The surrounding area is urban but the beach is still in very pristine condition as most ships do not sail close to the area. A polluted beach is an eyesore for me.

Figure 3: My special person.

The best part of watching and enjoying a sunset is to have someone special. It really means a lot watching something spectacular which intrigues two people at the same time. I really think that sunset watching is a must and it is very romantic to be together as the sun sets into the horizon.

The first time I watched a sunset together with someone really special is with her. That is the time where we talked till dusk. I have never enjoyed such an interesting conversation. However when it comes to staring at the sunset, we stared at it together till it disappear. 

Figure 4: Reddish after effect of the sunset.

I am missing my homeland more and more. Soon and very soon I'll make time to go back and meet her again. It has been quite a span of time since I've seen her. She's a very important person to me. Despite not seeing her for some time, I can't stop thinking about her. Is that true love?

Just a note, take note..

Figure 1: Flower for the broken hear-ted.

In any type of relationship, it is always best to hold on to your principles and hold firm onto what you truly believe in. No matter  what that is the ultimate most important point in yourself. Once you give in to your feelings, bad things will start to happen.

A relationship will never ever go wrong due to distance, it will only start to rapture if you give in to your doubts and start to imagine things. This imagination part is very volatile as it mixes feelings which will then turn those imaginations into wilder visualizations.

If you ever wish you want to be in a relationship you don't want to be in, then its best you don't have a relationship at all. Whatever words that you used to say won't mean a thing once, it is clear that, you've given up your principles and let your emotions control your decisions.

So for those looking forward to be in a relationship, it is best that you yourself make sure that you're able to handle that relationship because it is not only about holding hands, having fun or looking perfect together, but also being able to be together when the storm comes.

Music in her

She used to be a very shy girl and there's a lot of about her remains a secret even to me. One the beautiful hidden talents that I see in her is her love for music. She enjoys music and love to sing. I was astonished that she gathered courage to sing in front and her voice is lovely.

Figure 1: A potrait of her.

Her love of music is not only restricted to singing, but also to musical instruments. She is learning the keyboard and also the ukulele. She can play a few songs already while singing with those instruments. If she has learned it since small, I think she'll be a master of these instruments already.

Figure 2: Playing the piano.

Love you, you're a really special person.

My God and I

Figure 1: A stream to the sea.

I believe God goes beyond all that, all religions teach good things, none of it bad.. I believe that even people who aren't educated or reached out by religion is touched by God.. It is just a matter of rejecting the fact that you're created or not. 

Or believe that you are your own god and that when you die that is the end of it all, these days money can even be god. My mind is so limited and I am brought up with a lot of questions unanswered, but I have faith in God and that I wasn't just created to die or waste my life. 

Be it short or be it long, I hope for a full life.. It may not be perfect but at least through the character of Jesus, I can do my best and live knowing His light, hope and love for me..

I have a few atheist friends, but even when life's troubles come, they pray.. to whom, I think God..

Me & her

I am missing her, even before and while I am typing this log, every time we spent together was enjoyable to the most. I especially love hanging out with her and each time was different, even through the bad or good times, we need each other.

Figure 1: Me & Koyong.

I can't say I complete her, I am imperfect, especially I get annoyed so fast if situations get hasty and at times I get angry and flame out. She's a cool girl and she knows me well enough to let me cool down and helps me vent out this anger by her soft kindness.

Figure 2: Enjoy going out for trips.

She teaches me when I don't know or have no idea at all. She guides me to what she likes at the same time too. I don't like everything she likes, as I am me, and she's her but I take time to tolerate it and she takes her time to tolerate mine. We're unique that way, in a sense.

Figure 3: She spark interest in photography.

What I like about her the most is that despite her feelings, she sticks to her roots and her principles she holds on tight too. That makes me rest assured that one day, when I am weak or have sudden loss of wealth, she won't pack up and leave. 

Figure 4: Beside me she's perfect.

I won't too, beauty changes as we grow older, it is no longer such a precious as it is revered. So if she loss her hair one day, her skin tone changes, she get weak and needs my help, rest assured. She's the one I choose, after all she choose me too. 

Life is so eventful, but a life spent together is the best

I've been busy going here and there, busy with work commitments and all but of all the best experience I've been are weddings. These moments in life, preferably only once in a lifetime is a very precious and shared moment between two individuals, man and woman to be as one.

Figure 1: My cousin's wedding.

When I got back to homeland, at first I am in for only three weddings in which I am willing to capture the moment for them, however this rose up to another additional seven weddings which I am not expecting to capture. Still I accepted the offer and proceed.

Figure 3: Someone I really respect got married.

A beautifully captured wedding is a moment sealed in a picture which lasts forever. So, for me, I would want perfect wedding photographs which portrays the joy, happiness and celebration of the wedding itself. This is a very important event for two different individuals and their respective families.

Figure 3: Met when they were doing God's work.

When one gets married, you are ready to spend your life with that other person and walk through the path of life together as one. Men cannot live without their female counterparts, the same goes for the opposite. No matter the age or where you are, if you're destined by God to be together, then get married!!

God bless these newly wedded couples..

Amen!!

Empty words

The most over used and abused word that I've seen before is "I love you". Words which are supposed to be filled with real meaning of pureness and principle has been cheapen up with the spur of the moment and has been cheapened up with falseness.

Saying those words when you're feeling happy and at the next moment you aren't feeling it, those words are supposedly eternal and loving word just disappear from your character. In a split second you've become an entirely different person. A person filled with hate and not a scent of love inside.

For me these words are powerful and isn't often let out cheaply from my lips. It won't go to anyone who isn't worth it and when said it will last a thousand years, means that till my bones dried up, this word will still stick in my soul forever.

It is as powerful as that. 

"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides." -David Viscott-

Figure 1: Blank & Black.

Life is an echo

Recently I stumbled into an article which talks about what comes around turns around. Whatever that you do there will always be consequences. I always believed in this and this is one of my life principles which I hold on to no matter what. I believe this applies to all people of all beliefs and races.

"Life is an echo. What you send out, comes back.

What you sow, you reap.

What you give, you get.

What you see in others, exists in you.

Remember, Life is an echo. It always gets back to you.

So give goodness."

If we do good to others, I believe they will do good to you. But for me, if others do bad to you, we shouldn't do bad to them but do your best to do what is best and always aim to do good no matter what. God is ever-loving  everlasting and ever-forgiving.

The End of it All

Figure 1: White a symbol of peace and serenity.

At the end of the road, at the end of time, which is unknown to mortals but in life, there will always be the end of the road. And when it does, when the final breath of life leave your lips, all that is left is your memories  with others which will leave a pang of pain to love ones.

The end of it all is the moment where most people will never want to think about. They never want to think of the end, life will go on forever, that is what people want to believe. They never want to end something that is so beautiful and grand yet sometimes so dreadfully painful for those with terminal sickness.

When you're someone who is serving for others, sometimes others may never see, how you're serving, but for those who are precious to you, they know you're fighting for the people of the nation and it is an honor even though names are forgotten, the deeds aren't.

So my new year resolution is to,

"Start with the end in mind"

"Be a humble and honorable person"

"Think of others more and less of myself"

These three things I strive to conquer, I seek to take control of myself. Which is the hardest part for me to do in my life. 2013, if it is my last year, make it a memorable one for me, so that people will not remember me for who I am, but for what I have done for them.

Figure 2: A beautiful personal message.

"When someone you Love becomes a Memory, that Memory becomes a Treasure."

What I've wanted

I was walking along the path of a park one day, and pondered to myself, is this the right path I am walking. I wasn't even sure about it. I was puzzled that along the way, I have experienced a lot of things which makes me a very unique person.

I am not even sure I wanted every part of that experience, especially those bitter sweet ones. There are times when I felt like breaking down and giving up. Still there's a part of my mechanism that just doesn't want to give up. It drives me on.

The path is long and winding, I can't even seem to see the end of the road. I am getting more weary and tired. Is this what, God has planned for me or am I just blindly walking through this road of life. Life is filled with so much surprises that I got tired of it.

There's even a time that I fallen so low and everything seems so dim. Out of stamina and power, there's a hand pulling me up from nowhere. There's a lot of shit to deal with along the way and it's every assholes role to make the world go around a slightly more painful experience. 

Life is filled of make yourself happy or basically lying to yourself to make yourself better. I took the medicine and it made life worse, people can talk and make up a lot of nice shit to make you feel better but in the end, it is up to "you" to rise up and bounce back from the fall.

Trust in the Lord always and He will direct thy paths. In the end, if you don't seem to understand what you want, God does, because He made us and if only we trust in Him, we'll get what we truly want..

Together ~ Forever

Recently I went back to my homeland, I discovered something so peculiar about two people who used to make fun of each other. One is a boy and one is a girl, the girl is a very active person and always give smiles to everyone around her, while this boy likes to play a fool and has a very funny personality.

Figure 1: Excited on the swing.

I really like to be around them, as I am not a really noisy or active person when it comes to socializing but I am improving. I am slowly opening up to people and as I get older, hanging out with people who makes me laugh and smile causes my face to have laugh lines.

The last time I met her and it was last year, we were karaoke-ing together, and suddenly after she sang a song, she cried out and was reluctant to tell why. Then I get to know that she was cheated by her now ex-boyfriend and it was tough for her to get over it. 

Figure 2: Caught in action.

Back to the peculiar behavior of these two people, I found that, about two months ago they are already hanging out and holding hands in secret. When I asked them if it is true or not? She shyly said yes. I am happy that the two of them get together despite always making fun of each other. Glad she met someone who can make her forget her past sadness.

Figure 3: Happy together.

Since they don't have pictures together I decide to give them a simple couple photo-shoot. I enjoyed doing it as they are good friends of mine, and it makes me happy to have them pose up together as a couple. I really do hope that they will in the future be a happily married couple.

Time machine

It has been about 50 days since I finally have time to go online casually, I chose to write and reflect. Work has been haunting me and I felt that I need a change of environment. Life has indeed been good to me and blessings through countless ways has been granted to me. However, I found that work takes toll onto what I love to do the best, and this is what truly matters to me.

Life is cruel, especially to people who are truly kind-hearted and really trust a person truly, it is severely cruel especially when that person is too trusting that he/she has given away what is the most precious to a person who hasn't even committed to him/her. Almost to the brink of suicidal, I gave a helping hand and helped her up, letting her know that there's always a second chance in life.

Recently I have been taken to court, due to family reasons and it seems that there are land titles allocated to me which are disputed by other members of the family. This is where I suffer the most in the month of September. I have to take leave and attend the court hearing which took whole day, with legal proceedings and documents verification as well as signature.

Time is really important for me, to be able to reflect myself and to give myself to the service of others. I enjoy my work here but it is too time consuming and sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be able to do what I wanted to do. My friend recently offered me a job back at homeland, I am thinking hard, for the experience at my current workplace is good, but I rarely have time even for myself.

I finally take leave back home and went jungle tracking with my little brother, we're 10 years difference of age and have different characteristics. As we walked, we talked a lot on how things have changed. For better or worse, we've defeated it, well for him, I'm going to support him to be a future doctor. 

Figure 1: Me and my little brother.

The going will be tough but for my family, I'll always be there for them. 

Peace be with you and God bless.

Wedding Day

During my last break for Harvest Festival, I did manage to attend a wedding, I barely did as I have my hands full with other activities. It was my cousin's wedding and as I am around this is an opportunity to see her on her grand day.

The wedding is held at a church located in Ranau, a town which is located really close to Mount Kinabalu and as I said, I barely manage to get there in time for the church reception. Thank God, I managed after a steep mountain climb using my trusty 4x4.

Figure 1: Her beautiful wedding dress.

The weather is so-so, with mists here and there, but the event speaks warmth and unity. As I walked into the church, the aura is serene and very pious with church tradition. I quickly grabbed my Canon and went up front to capture that moment, special moment.

Figure 2: Happy smile.

My cousin is the highlight of the day, with her beautiful wedding dress, she smiled through out the church session as the Father, blessed the newly wedded couple. That is the most beautiful I saw her, especially when she smiled, as I remembered only seeing her like about 10 years ago.

Figure 3: The love of her life.

I was so blessed to see her husband and her unite even after such a long time not seeing each other, the smile she gave me was a blessing. She's two years younger than me, and she asked me when's my turn. I responded, maybe a few more years, as I am still not ready and just started a serious relation ship.

Oh God.. Slow me.. Will that time ever comes..