What I've wanted

I was walking along the path of a park one day, and pondered to myself, is this the right path I am walking. I wasn't even sure about it. I was puzzled that along the way, I have experienced a lot of things which makes me a very unique person.

I am not even sure I wanted every part of that experience, especially those bitter sweet ones. There are times when I felt like breaking down and giving up. Still there's a part of my mechanism that just doesn't want to give up. It drives me on.

The path is long and winding, I can't even seem to see the end of the road. I am getting more weary and tired. Is this what, God has planned for me or am I just blindly walking through this road of life. Life is filled with so much surprises that I got tired of it.

There's even a time that I fallen so low and everything seems so dim. Out of stamina and power, there's a hand pulling me up from nowhere. There's a lot of shit to deal with along the way and it's every assholes role to make the world go around a slightly more painful experience. 

Life is filled of make yourself happy or basically lying to yourself to make yourself better. I took the medicine and it made life worse, people can talk and make up a lot of nice shit to make you feel better but in the end, it is up to "you" to rise up and bounce back from the fall.

Trust in the Lord always and He will direct thy paths. In the end, if you don't seem to understand what you want, God does, because He made us and if only we trust in Him, we'll get what we truly want..

Who's to blame..

Figure 1: Chilling out.

Yesterday, a problem due to human error occurred, and everyone's pointing fingers, I was so busy with my project orientation and implementation but due the problem I have to stall it. People, manpower, adults are very hard to handle, once they start to point fingers and raise their voice, it is very challenging to stop them. 

As  a very quiet person, I usually tolerate this well, but this time it simply escalated. I got extremely irritated that I say a few words which immediately made the office substantially. It is proven then people start to blame and pointing fingers, their failure to think rationally gets so annoying and tends to go overboard.

I don't mind slapping a few words and just leave my business at hand in office to rectify the problem. I was hoping they will get to their senses, stop pointing fingers and work it out together. 

"Words are just words, while actions speaks true" ... "No action talk only" ... As I left the office, some rationalized followers went with me and together we identified the problem, though it is not yet rectified at least the problem is solvable. 

That evening went to the beach, sit on my car's bonnet and watched as the sun slowly sets into the horizon. Simply breath-taking and the soft warm breeze just calms my inside.

Patience..

Just finished a very challenging job, patience is a key to its success. So, the key is to be patient and never giving up.

Figure 1: Three Phase LEDs.

Patience is a word which I learned since I was a little kid, for I was filled with impatience. Patience was taught to me in quite a harsh way as I am a very hard headed little kid. I always shout out so loud for attention and was disciplined in a very painful physical manner.

I found out that I always learned something the hard way, instead of realizing the benefits and immediately turning a new leaf. Still patience faraway, and I was uncontrollable as I reached my teenage years. My tantrum effected people around me, even those close to me almost gave up.

I praise God that they didn't and somehow as time passes by, all the hormones probably drained out of me, and I became a more calm and outgoing person. I accept all those calamity and hurts caused onto me without retaliating. This gave me a new way of thinking as well as new insight in life.