Crouching Tiger..

Returned late from work, got nagged by one of the bosses for something which I've overlooked and my workers just messed it up. Taking responsibility by just nodding and the truth is I am unsure how to actually discipline my workers. I am firm, yet quite soft inside. I am not a dictator.

Went back home, breathe in, breathe out, take a short break and fried my own home-made meat ball spaghetti. The meal is accompanied with a glass of hot chocolate. Need some more air though, but too tired to go out and besides its already too late. It's so quiet and voices are still echoing in my head.

Looked into the mirror and saw me, a flawed imperfect person, who doesn't like to pass own judgement, dictate or rule his own workers for own sake. I simply like to guide, show and express patiently. Should I change? To be a fierce tiger, roar out loud and threaten to devour?

Figure 1: Hidden tiger.

Still looking at the mirror, I smiled and said, No, that is absolutely not me. I'll be strong and lead with my true actions. I may look weak and not aggressive to others, I may look powerless despite my position, but I believe if I hold on to my principle, everything will work out well if not perfect.

Who's to blame..

Figure 1: Chilling out.

Yesterday, a problem due to human error occurred, and everyone's pointing fingers, I was so busy with my project orientation and implementation but due the problem I have to stall it. People, manpower, adults are very hard to handle, once they start to point fingers and raise their voice, it is very challenging to stop them. 

As  a very quiet person, I usually tolerate this well, but this time it simply escalated. I got extremely irritated that I say a few words which immediately made the office substantially. It is proven then people start to blame and pointing fingers, their failure to think rationally gets so annoying and tends to go overboard.

I don't mind slapping a few words and just leave my business at hand in office to rectify the problem. I was hoping they will get to their senses, stop pointing fingers and work it out together. 

"Words are just words, while actions speaks true" ... "No action talk only" ... As I left the office, some rationalized followers went with me and together we identified the problem, though it is not yet rectified at least the problem is solvable. 

That evening went to the beach, sit on my car's bonnet and watched as the sun slowly sets into the horizon. Simply breath-taking and the soft warm breeze just calms my inside.

Anger management

Figure 1: Small packing problem, big impact.

Well, today didn't worked out so well...

It seems that problems come here and there, a long-long time ago I used to be  very fiery and filled with raging anger. Wouldn't write much about what I've already written before but today, I really managed to be a pretty good manager of myself, especially my feelings and self-conduct during times when people just can't cease to shout out loudly (SOL).

With the stress of sudden emergency and the need to rush important procedures, people, especially those who are elderly, tend to release their stress by shouting, giving orders with loud panic-inciting, fast-unclear orders which I preferably feel the urge to shake the senses out of those people.

My section is a very vital section in my place of work, and every now and then whenever there is certain problems especially serious emergency situations, where other sections are involved, my section is to act fast and rectify the problem and this is where the tension arises.

So, with my jovial and carefree mood of the day, I was rushed by one of those veteran uppers, rushed and brushed with panicky shouting. I was quite immune, maybe this is due to the fact that I have experienced almost every kind of scolding and also done too much raging when I was young that I was quite calm.

What I used to fist and curse last time, now I just take it in and dissolve it into nothingness. Some of my peers are quite amazed at my ability to handle that and due to that, as every situation turns out well as I handled it without any serious problems, they call me Mr.Lucky guy.

That seriously made me smiled despite all the tensions around me.

Anger and Rage

Through anger and rage, we are blinded from all things including the truth and what is most important priority in life, even the biggest elephant in front of our eyes can't be seen, but the smallest fault in others is the most visible to us.. For me, even I don't fully understand the truth, but I can just trust in God with my limited knowledge, and serve others the best that I can, for I believe that love is our priority in this life even though we are full of imperfections and weaknesses.

Figure 1: Fiery anger of a person blinds his sight.

I am a person with a fiery innard, I don't easily accept those who challenge me and am fast to get to my own conclusions. I am a selfish person who doesn't wants anyone to invade my privacy or personal hobbies and stuff. When I am in a bad mood, I will just fire up even my love ones. This is truly me and I have to change.

I need peace, not physical peace or just someone to comfort me, but to find myself, able to freely serve and calm myself, I need this calmness always in my heart and mind, to be able to be wise and just keep quiet during times when my patience is really tested. 

Just wondered.. and kept wondering, life is full of challenges, including my midterm this evening. All the best  and have a great day ahead of you.