Moment of hiccups

Yesterday, I've took my first sick leave since I started working for the company. It is not due to me being so sick that I can't even come over for work but it is because I've got an unstoppable hiccup all of a sudden. I'm also not sure where did I manage to get this kind of silly phenomena to myself.

It all started that evening after gym, I went over to a Tom Yam restaurant for something nice warm and spicy for dinner. I had that really spiced up tom yam and ate it with rice. I didn't feel anything awkward until I started to hiccup on the way back home. I breathe in and try to stay my breathe for as long as I can to rid of it.

To my dismay, it didn't stop and I kept hiccuping until I reach home. I even tried to swallow up air, drink lots of water but to no avail. Those hiccups just kept coming and I can't find a way to stop myself from hiccuping. I was so frustrated and a bit mad-driven by hiccups.

The hiccup didn't stop even when I wanted to go to bed. I went to sleep hiccuping and the next day, woke up hiccuping. I was so angry that I gurgled two 1 liter bottles of water but that didn't resulted well. As a consequence I was so full that every-time I hiccuped water+stomach acid flooded my mouth. I am so disgusting and disgusted.

I went to work hiccuping, attended the morning meeting hiccuping and people around me just felt uncomfortable just hearing me wheeze and shake due to the hiccup. I just can't stand it and rush as fast as I can  to hide in my office. Still colleagues and more people came to see me, hiccuping myself away for answers and signatures.

My diaphragm muscle started to hurt so badly that the next day I took my sick leave and went to the doctor.

Doctor: Hello, what's wrong with you today?

Me      : Doctor, I can't stop hiccuping and my tummy hurts.

Doctor: Hiccuping is due to the nerve endings of your diaphragm sending signals to your diaphragm... bla bla bla. Just take a deep breathe or swallow.

Me      : I did that already Doctor but it didn't work.

Doctor : I'll just give you this medicine.. for your gastric.. bla bla bla..

Me      : *So you don't know how to fix it.* Zzz..  <-- in my mind.

I got my sick leave from the doctor so I can get some rest and away from the office from curious people eyeing me, just in case I have some chronic virus which can infect them. Some even gave me silly advice that I've gotta go to some hardcore specialist at Australia just to be sure. Damn!!!

So today, I fasted and didn't eat any heavy food but substituted to fruits and water only. I felt better, the hiccups come and go, eventually goes away. It's all about my diet I realized, no one knows me better than me, I shouldn't have ate such spicy yet delicious tom yam serving with an empty stomach.

That is seriously my bad. Suffered too much from hiccuping the last 3 days of my life.

*I wrote doctor in red because I felt like smacking him.

Random Thursday

 

Original music by the Korean singer Taeyang which I don't understand. My cousin keeps on raving about this Korean singer and his music. And while surfing the net, found an English cover sang by Kevin Lien which is great, enjoyed the catchy beat with lyrics which makes sense.

Remember to always express your feelings, thoughts once that chance is gone there's a 99.9% possibility that it wouldn't happen anymore. This doesn't only applies to relationship but also other chances which concerns the heart. This song express the person's regret for just waiting and not taking action.

"My heart was never yours in the first place, why bother me now and asking for the impossible from my elders, my heart can never accept you."

Sometimes we often dismiss these matters as unimportant to be released from inside. It may cause discomfort to self and the other party. However keeping it will result in hurt that will last longer than a lifetime. Such a simple act can cause such distress.

"My heart is uneasy, not ready but the odds are against me, it is not through my own will, but no matter what, my heart will never submit to other's will, this was never my wish in the first place."

I don't have much way to vent out this unneeded stress. I don't drink anymore, I don't smoke nor do I do crack so I'll just blog it out.

In Denial

Figure 1: After work thinking.

For the last few years I've been living in denial, not accepting the views of others even though they are people elder and more matured than me. Denying the fact that what they are implying to me as superficial judging and never been in depth with the real person I am. 

The fact that people who are close to me, my family, I have been always considering their thoughts rather than some far away distant relatives or family friends who sometimes regard me as distant, ill disciplined, insultingly rude and an uprightly impudent  person.

Maybe I looked arrogant and rarely smiled, prefer to be solitary and doesn't talk much to people who doesn't share the similar interest with me or with a high level of ego & self made confidence. False impressions as well as expectation will deny me that certain person raising it as well.

I am living & working now in a place far away from those people, making friends with people not native to my own. My wish is to be only close to people who have built me up and actually contributed during my lifetime. I can't deny the fact I am filled with impurities and am imperfect.

It does hurt to be compared & bench-marked,

"It's so hard to be acceptable to everyone, guess I'll just do my best?"

To be expecting so much yet contributed so little,

"Am I being in denial or simply filled with selfishness?" 

Life isn't perfect and smooth flowing, but in my situation,

"Why does it always have to be superficial & fake?"