Cousin

Figure 1: At Bundusan beach.

This is my cousin, he's from my mother's side of the family. Since small we've had our adventures together, from fire building, playing with fire crackers, making a canon till getting beaten up by granny for playing fire at home. There are lots of precious memories together.

Figure 2: My cousin's a tall slim guy.

We grew up in different places and environment, I was raised in an island town, while he was raised from the village. Every time, when it was school holidays, I was so eager to go back to my mother's place of birth just to hang out and go around the village with him.

Figure 3: Just got into photography.

He's one year younger than me, and we've fought before, about a girl, well, that was when we've had that crush thing, but we've always get closer once more and forgive each other. Whenever I think about it, that was seriously embarrassing. Still it happened.

Figure 4: Landscape photography.

Now, well, we still hang out occasionally whenever I have the time to go back to the village. We'll go out for drinks, hangout at our favorite aunt's place and sometimes when he's free he'll bring me out to one of those awesome places to take pictures.

Figure 5: I am Nikon, he's using Canon gear.

I am so fortunate to have him as my cousin. He's the best. 

My inspiration

When I am small, I live in a world filled of dreams and easiness. Life is a game and everything comes so easy as I grew up. I get everything I wanted and never needed to stretch out and do any hard work. Everything is fun and joy.

Figure 1: Lost in a sea of dreams.

I come home from school never concerned about my school work and just play computer games. I was never concerned about my parents and am very ignorant about myself. I grew to be very selfish and self centered person. 

Those traits are still with me, I try my best to improve. When I finished high school with a terrible, parent disappointing result, I finally got knocked hard in the head. I asked myself, what the hell am I doing? What am I going to be in the future?

Figure 2: My dad, am so proud of him.

Due to my ignorance and failure to realize, I was secretly shipped to national service for 3 months, I got knocked hard there and finally reality came to my mind. I realize that I was such a douche-bag full of nothing-ness and wastefull-ness.

I started to look back, and see the person who has raised me since small, my mom and dad. My dad lives a very hard life, but now, he's a successful person and able to raise up my whole family. My mom also came from a difficult family, but she's able to teach us and care for my family.

Figure 3: My mom and dad.

That is my turning point and my inspiration. Even now, they still take care of me and give sound advice to their very ignorant and foolish kid.

Time machine

It has been about 50 days since I finally have time to go online casually, I chose to write and reflect. Work has been haunting me and I felt that I need a change of environment. Life has indeed been good to me and blessings through countless ways has been granted to me. However, I found that work takes toll onto what I love to do the best, and this is what truly matters to me.

Life is cruel, especially to people who are truly kind-hearted and really trust a person truly, it is severely cruel especially when that person is too trusting that he/she has given away what is the most precious to a person who hasn't even committed to him/her. Almost to the brink of suicidal, I gave a helping hand and helped her up, letting her know that there's always a second chance in life.

Recently I have been taken to court, due to family reasons and it seems that there are land titles allocated to me which are disputed by other members of the family. This is where I suffer the most in the month of September. I have to take leave and attend the court hearing which took whole day, with legal proceedings and documents verification as well as signature.

Time is really important for me, to be able to reflect myself and to give myself to the service of others. I enjoy my work here but it is too time consuming and sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be able to do what I wanted to do. My friend recently offered me a job back at homeland, I am thinking hard, for the experience at my current workplace is good, but I rarely have time even for myself.

I finally take leave back home and went jungle tracking with my little brother, we're 10 years difference of age and have different characteristics. As we walked, we talked a lot on how things have changed. For better or worse, we've defeated it, well for him, I'm going to support him to be a future doctor. 

Figure 1: Me and my little brother.

The going will be tough but for my family, I'll always be there for them. 

Peace be with you and God bless.

Untold Journey

Excerpts of a missing sister

Her mobile was unreachable and I was super worried and took a short break to find her missing from her university and her car parked away with the battery unattached. I wasn't paranoid but at least I check up with her on immigration only to find her half-way around the world.

Such an exciting journey during the two weeks of her semester break, I was able to trace her till Bangkok, Thailand only to miss her by a few hours. She's already on her way to London and I decide to head back as I don't have extra time and I have to be in a meeting at Kuala Lumpur the following day.

From London, she boarded transited to Bahamas and finally to the Cayman Islands in which she's to meet a friend from New York, whom she only met online. She's all grown up I know but to be suddenly missing from her university campus is quite worrisome in this troubled world. 

Especially, when I'm supposed to be one who's keeping the siblings together despite being far-away apart from each other.

She returned unscathed and safe but she still owe me an explanation as well as the unclear events which happens during the whole "missing" half-way around the world journey. It is due to the trouble-some nature of my overprotective parents which results in this untold journey.

Glad she returns home safe and with a unique experience.

Back from the Pearl

Been sometime away from work and home due to business deal regarding my work equipment. The deal is to be made at the Pearl of the South China Sea, I guess I'm going to enjoy these few days of free time so I bring my sister to tag along.

Since I'm with my sister, there will not be anyone of the opposite sex disturbing me and she'll learn how is it like to be in a real meeting with potential vendor and also how to deal with them. This is also a bit of an introductory travel course to her about engineering work.

After the meeting is done, we decide to go to the beach which we used to play since we're small, and reminiscing the old times we still manage to find some seashells to add to my sister's shell collection. This island's beach is very special as it is full of crustacean shells which consists of different shapes, sizes and unique designs.

These are the few pictures of the sea shells taken using the Nikon D90 with kit lenses. The camera is great and easy for me to use but not so good if it is handed to a point and shoot usual user. So I'll hand over my Sony NEX-5 to my sister and hold on to the Nikon.

Figure 1: Her shell collections.

Figure 2: Her shell collections.

Figure 3: More of her shell collections.

Just like me, besides being left-handed and have similar interest, we love to collect. She loves things which are colourful, rare and also abstract art. Memories are also collectibles which are  treasured for life. So being able to spend time together will be rarer as she is going off to study at a renowned university soon.

Can't express..

Woke up today and it felt so unusually great that I couldn't comprehend this sudden feeling. Took my phone and read the great news from my sister, she manage to get awesome results from the recent examination. This boosted my spirit for today.

As a first child, I wasn't such a great studious student and I always prefer games to studying. This resulted in me being a very bad student in a very bad studying environment and education system. I don't blame the system though as it shapes me into a person who goes against the flow. 

I have two extraordinarily smart sisters, and a similar yet opposite personality brother who is also a gamer but well controlled by my parents. My sisters went well with the country's educational system and conquered it. My sister after me is currently studying at the country's apex university.

Figure: My sister.

My second sister however is very similar to me, we're music oriented, she plays the piano while I play the guitar. Our skin color is the same, yellowish and slightly dark. I am easily distracted by small matters and so is she. She excels in logic and physics, which I also am, that makes me an engineer and she aspires to be a future chemical engineer.

I am proud of her and she makes my family very happy and proud. It will be a week plus before I'll be able to return back home. Now for the congratulatory gift, I wonder what should I get her. God is indeed great, I give all thanks to God for giving me such a wonderful family.

Keep Missing..

Feel so sullen and cold during this time of winter. Wish time would pass so much faster when I am alone and time would pass so slow when I'm with meaningful people, so that the moment would last almost forever. But this is not the world I can simply control, I can only only capture those moments and appreciate.

This song makes me feel damn, damn, damn, little bit sad especially when I'm alone without people who meant to me surrounding me. Even though my faith precedes me not to be so, I'm still feeling the strain of being alone despite the new experience, the warmth suddenly fading. Maybe I should apply for leave soon.

Before I step deeper into 2011, there's a few mentionables about 2010

Since I've been very busy during the holidays, I've been unable to blog due to the lack of connectivity at Kota Belud. There's been a lot of movement during the course of my holidays, still not much real progress for my final year project, which I'll be struggling for during my last semester. Now I'm still in my first week of lecture, so there is a few mentionables which I've reserved just before I really step into year 2011.

Figure 1: My parent's 25th anniversary special.

The most special highlight of the holiday is my parent's 25th anniversary which is held in church. A special ceremony is held up for all the married couples for my family and it is a coincidence that my family is back to Kota Belud, so decide to join up, so I went through the task of being the honourable driver to do errands such as looking for my mum's bride dress at the bridal and up to photographing the event.

Marriages are meant to last and it's no on-off relationship which we can just make up through feelings, it takes principle and a lot of effort to build up. Lasting marriages is getting really rare these days. So I as a Christian, am also hoping to get married and have a lasting marriage as have my parents. They are my role models.

Figure 2: My steady girlfriend.

It's almost 3 years since we've started a relationship, and I feel that things are going to get better, there's a lot of experience that we've spent together, lots of studying together are among those bitter-sweet times. She has always been a motivation for me when tough times come, especially if there is set-backs during my final year project and also when facing tough tests, assignments and project. 

It's been fun to be able to sit together in a class with a special person, it makes me super concentrate during classes (not sure if this works for everyone though). I felt that meeting her was God-sent and that God knew that I need someone to strengthen me spiritually and keep me strong during the whole course of my challenging undergraduate.

Most of all, she loves sweet goodies, especially ice cream and also dark chocolate. Sweet girl, she is one.

Figure 3: Jump into the river, blurred.

Another notable feat is of course river jumping, well it's not such a proud feat but bathing in the river is something my brother has been looking forward to when returning back to the kampung. The river at my kampung which is Kg.Gaur, Kota Belud, Sabah, Malaysia is really clear river and has been a very famous bathing place. So I had a very enjoyable time with my little brother, I've spent little time with him, so it is something I also look forward to.

Still there is always danger when bathing, due to its strong current and at different times cold, cramps can occur. This happened to me recently during the semester break last year 2010, I actually went down into the water to check the depth but I can't reach it, it is really deep and when I tried to go up, the current below the water mixed with cold water caused me to lose stamina.

I got tired as I surfaced the river, my cousin was nearby luckily and it is still far towards the shallow part, I guess if he wasn't there, I could've drowned and not survived the year. God is indeed watching over me. Praises to the Lord.

Figure 4: Cloudy day at the tip of Borneo.

This is a recent trip to the tip of Borneo last December 2010, the day is cloudy and there is drips of rain falling, so the view isn't breathe-taking as it supposed to be on a sunny day. The year 2010 is filled with ups and downs and also struggles with self and there are goals which I haven't been able to achieve. Maybe the cloudy day might signify the year 2010 for me. It could have been better, yet I am thoroughly thankful for all the blessing which has been showered. 

God has indeed blessed me and I should be more open hearted in offering service to him.