Another life

In this life full of different paths, we have to decide what is the best outcome for ourselves and also what's best for others. Recently a good friend of mine has come to a very tough cross-road decision and this certain decision effects her future and also her own relationship with another person.

She asked me for advice and after listening to her and some reasoning, instead of giving her an absolute advice, I asked her a few questions to ponder before making that big decision. The questions I gave her are in a way are linked to both her main decisions.

In my list of trivial questions, I don't require an answer but need her to think thoroughly as in it is consists of her own fundamental principle of life, which is important and other small details which will have an impact of her future. As a good friend and listener, I can only offer such assistance.

I am glad that, she went with her passion and heart, for this is what will truly make someone happy despite criticism and negative views of her other friends. I believe that one should never be judge despite her decisions as the one person that is going through it is her.

All the best in life watashi no yoki yujin.

Lethargic allergy

Figure 1: Smile.

Achoo~!!! Achoo~!!! All the way as I traveled back to my work place from home. There is a certain room at home in which if I enter, will get super itchy in the nose, my eyes will start to water and like a leaked water tap, my nose will bleed water. 

My eyes and nose will turn red due to that itch and my mind will get slow. Thinking will be a hassle for me when I am in this lethargic state due to allergy. I am so hyper-sensitive when it comes to the cleanliness of the place I am living in, working in and spend time at. 

I simply can't stand going to closed up places only to find it so dusty or filled with pollen which activates my hyper-sensitive nose. My room is equipped with efficient aeration, allergen free air-conditioning and humidity balancing device just to keep my room suitable for me to live in.

Someone used to give me a bouquet of live flowers, I didn't know about my allergies at first but as I left the flowers at home it began to wither and the pollen probably got separated from the flowers itself. I didn't know the root cause of my sudden allergy until I blow the air out of my room and threw the flowers away.

Despite being such a clean freak myself, I suffer a lot from my allergies ever since I am small, running nose just like a leaking tap water, reduced performance, almost constant sneezing which pisses off surrounding people and facial features which scares the public (red nose, red eyes = H1N1??).

I totally avoid meeting up with people especially clients, bosses or dates with friends when I am having this allergy situation. Since, I am born this way I can't change the way I am, just that there are probably others like me suffering this lethargic allergy situation, and I hope to share this to those who never knew about this.

There are ways to actually improve the situation due sudden exposure to allergens which will bring disaster, but I wouldn't resort to surgery or heavy medical means. This is a genetic weakness in my part, I am willing to work around it and with that said, I can still smile and be happy.

Give thanks

After sometime away from work and nuisance, I manage to get myself together and settle things the way I felt most comfortable. I am sure there is something in the way I treat people that always gets me into this kind of shitty trouble. 

And through it all, I can't find anywhere to fully vent away this troubling thought and stress until finally I went to the backyard, dug a medium sized hole?? and spill it all. As troubling as it seems, "nope", that is absolutely not what I did. I just knelt down and prayed instead.

It was calming when I finally released everything that is troubling me to my Creator. Sometimes I wonder is it only me, or it is true that Almighty actually listens and personally sends a calming spirit into my soul. Without prior knowledge of the higher power, I would be so messed up.

It's strange that these days, I only come to sit on the feet of the Creator during my times of trouble. Once I've passed that stage of sadness, that closeness seem to fade. Still, I can't comprehend my life without the Almighty's touch. 

Thank you God for loving me first.

Random Thursday

 

Original music by the Korean singer Taeyang which I don't understand. My cousin keeps on raving about this Korean singer and his music. And while surfing the net, found an English cover sang by Kevin Lien which is great, enjoyed the catchy beat with lyrics which makes sense.

Remember to always express your feelings, thoughts once that chance is gone there's a 99.9% possibility that it wouldn't happen anymore. This doesn't only applies to relationship but also other chances which concerns the heart. This song express the person's regret for just waiting and not taking action.

"My heart was never yours in the first place, why bother me now and asking for the impossible from my elders, my heart can never accept you."

Sometimes we often dismiss these matters as unimportant to be released from inside. It may cause discomfort to self and the other party. However keeping it will result in hurt that will last longer than a lifetime. Such a simple act can cause such distress.

"My heart is uneasy, not ready but the odds are against me, it is not through my own will, but no matter what, my heart will never submit to other's will, this was never my wish in the first place."

I don't have much way to vent out this unneeded stress. I don't drink anymore, I don't smoke nor do I do crack so I'll just blog it out.

Numb inside

Figure 1: Sunset silhouette. 

The breeze is warm and the sky is cloudy, unable to watch the sunset but enjoyed the calming beating of the waves against the stones. Walked together but not so close.

The silhouette shown in Figure 1, shows two person who seems close but not too close. There is distance between them, but not too far yet they spend time together, chatting while the sun slowly dies down the horizon. 

For now this is the sort of relationship and no more, There are reasons for this and do not need to be understood clearly why. Whenever asked, will just kept silent and wisp away further.

Felt cold, deep inside and there will always be a never-ending winter inside my heart.

"She's now a resident engineer back at homeland, wonder how she's doing, She has her friends and have mine own, the distance is numbing and thawing my heart further"

Helpless & Hopeless

Just a few points to ponder as I look back and think forward into the future..

A) Ever felt helpless and also hopeless at the same time? 

B) Ever walked a path in life where you felt the loneliest despite having people all around you? 

C) Ever given a task to handle alone where you don't have enough know-how and experience to fully execute it? 

Well, enough with the ever, I'm sure each and every one of us have this sort of facing the impossible experience. The agonizing feeling of being helpless and hopelessness is a tough combo when one is facing it together at the same time. It brings more effects to one's sanity as well as brings stress which will age those physical looks.

From my experience, I am constantly dropped in a situation when there are people around me yet I find them unwilling to help me out or even just point me in the right direction. This sucks especially if you're new and still inexperienced. 

However, this is not an excuse to actually slack off and run away from the problem. This is where you as a sane person face that huge mountain of a problem and start digging. Even if you're unsure where is the actual location of the gold, there's a lot of place you can start to analyze and even try to smell the dirt to find that sweet gold.

Never ever be disappointed when we find help from other people, only to be rejected, refused, mocked, spat at or even in worst case scenarios, screamed at. If this happens to you, spring up and remember the words of the genius Einstein,

"I am thankful to all those who said "No", because of them I did it myself."

Once you've get around this thick fog of negativity and actually work out that initiative to find that alternative to your problem it is time to be proud. This is due to that fact that when you walked alone, tasted the bitterness of dirt and run up that huge mountain of impossibility, through all those hardships only to finally find that shiny, yellow gold.

Why am I writing this? I've experienced this before and from this experience one should never be too proud and haughty as to become as the other people that surround you and made you virtually invisible. Be humble and always help those who are experiencing this painful experience.

"God always give me the bitter sweet taste of humility whenever I am haughty."

Monday Blues

Work once again, after just a few days of freedom and peacefulness of the mind. Since it is Monday, and I'm feeling so blue I'll just blog about something blue from my collectibles.

Recently, I manage to try out a new pair of kicks which I opened up from the box and immediately tested out hiking. Fresh out of the box the sneakers is made up of blue dyed suede leather and meshes for breath-ability. 

Figure 1: Back-side.

This is a pair of Adidas x James Bond ZX8000 for David Beckham. David Beckham is cool but the only thing I dig in for these sneakers is that it is designed by James Bond of Undefeated and it is a ZX8000 model. That makes a shoe worth going in to my collection.

Figure 2: Front-side.

These shoes also features 3M accents on the toe-box, side 3 stripes and the hind part of the shoes. The 3M material used will illuminate itself when exposed to light, so when running or walking on the side of the road, it makes you more noticeable when its already dark. 

Figure 3: Out-soles.

These shoes as in all ZX8000 features a torsion bar which stabilizes the runner while evenly distributing the load torque generated by the runner to the out-soles providing ample control. The out-sole of the shoe is excellent for running on the asphalt road  as well as hiking and jungle trekking on stony-muddy hilly trails.

Figure 4: Insides.

The insides of the sole features a very comfortable inner lining and padding specially designed by James Bond. This is standard in all of his Adidas collaborations. It is made of leather and the feel is luxurious to the foot.

I normally don't do justice to my collectibles but just for the sake of testing the capabilities of the Adidas ZX8000 with torsion technology on the trail, this is about how far I go. So this pair of shoes is worthy as an athletic as well as casual wear.

Hopefully more collectibles to come in the future.